


The Sixth Ranger

by misura



Category: G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 08:51:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5410604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Storm Shadow joins the Joes. Flint is delighted. Snake Eyes talks a lot. (Only one of these statements is true. Maybe.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sixth Ranger

There's five of them.

And sure, five's better than none, and Flint knows damn well that each of them's worth at least ten regular guys (or gals), but the sad truth of it is that, well, there's only so much you can do with five people, and running regular Joe missions isn't really an option anymore right now.

Disbanding the Joes isn't, either, of course. Not after everything that's happened. So.

"So we'll go recruiting," Roadblock says. "Next week."

Flint wonders; Jaye actually asks. "Why next week?"

Turns out that even with only five of them, someone who ought to know still figures they can go and run some _irregular_ Joe missions. This week.

 

It's good to be out in the field again, to know what's going on. To no longer have this feeling that it's them against the world.

The mission's pretty standard: get in, snatch some advanced weaponry that shouldn't have been here in the first place, get out again. Simple. They've been briefed on what they're up against (intermediately well-armed and -trained insurgents) and what their priorities are (when in doubt, blow stuff up).

Flint wouldn't say it's a walk in the park, exactly, but it's not as if anyone he runs into is capable of giving him a hard time. He's better - better-trained, better-armed, better-backed up by people who know what they're doing. Meaning that when some guy in a ski mask goes down with a shuriken in his chest, his first emotion is mild annoyance, rather than gratefulness.

"Thanks, but I - " _had that_. He's expecting Jinx. Snake Eyes, maybe, although Snake Eyes usually prefers guns.

"You had that?" Storm Shadow says. "I'm aware."

 

Roadblock takes it well. Better than Flint would have, in his position. "So, what? You want to join?"

Jinx looks furious. Flint reckons she's scowling for two - he can't see Snake Eyes's face, but he figures Snake's not exactly happy right now, either.

Storm Shadow sneers. It's a very good sneer. It makes Flint want to shoot him. "No."

"We don't need you," Roadblock says. "Now, you helped us out once, and I'm not gonna forget that."

Flint looks away from Storm Shadow's face. "Wait, what?"

"I shoot my enemies," Roadblock says. "I kill them. I blow them up. I do _not_ hand them over to a bunch of people who are going to treat them like a science project. Which is why I'm telling you to either start walking or ... no. No other option. Start walking, and keep your hands where I can see them, and then we're all going to go home safe and sound."

"Sir!" Flint thinks it; Jinx says it. Jaye is looking at her sniper rifle, probably calculating the distance, the odds of her getting to it before Storm Shadow crosses the room.

"You owe me." Storm Shadow looks at Jinx. "I'm here to collect."

Jinx flushes. "How dare you! We do _not_ \- "

Snake Eyes raises his hand, cutting her off. It's - well. _Damn,_ Flint thinks. This cannot possibly be good.

"Huh." Roadblock sighs. "Well, guess that's settled, then. Don't go expecting us to throw you a welcome party or anything, though. I only buy cake for people I actually like."

 

"Hey," Jaye says. She's running a two-computer search for what nefarious deeds Storm Shadow may have gotten up to in between the thing at Fort Sumter and the thing in Poland. Thus far, all she's found is probable proof that he's been to Tokyo. "Look at it this way: as long as he's with us, he's not with Cobra Commander. That's a good thing, right?"

"He's a bad guy." Flint's read up a bit on the whole 'science project' thing and yeah, okay, he can see where Roadblock's coming from. And yeah, maybe he's not the kind of guy who's up for shooting a guy in cold blood. Still. "He doesn't deserve to be a Joe."

Jaye's gaze darts to some point over his left shoulder.

"Relax," Storm Shadow says. He sounds calm. A little amused. "I have no intention of joining your club."

 _Damn ninja._ "So what're you doing here, huh? Other than giving Jinx and Snake a hard time?"

"You have absolutely _no idea_ what you're talking about," Storm Shadow says. "Consider yourself lucky. I might take offense, otherwise."

Flint may not be a ninja, and he definitely doesn't see how Snake Eyes or Jinx would owe this guy anything, but he recognizes a challenge when it's staring at him. "Bring it. Any time, any place."

Jaye coughs. Flint doesn't break eye contact.

"A staring contest? Real mature, guys." Possibly, Flint should have picked another place to have a private talk with Jaye. "Seriously."

"He started it," Flint says. Kind of proving Roadblock's point, maybe, but it's still true.

"You'd prefer me to actually make him bleed?" Storm Shadow asks. Flint wonders if ninja get some special stare training. It sounds like the sneaky sort of thing they'd do. 

"Anyone going to make anyone bleed, it's going to be me. Is that clear?"

Flint desperately wants to blink. "Sir, yes, sir."

"Storm?"

"I heard you."

Jaye clears her throat. "Permission to speak freely?"

Flint reconsiders and decides that what he actually desperately wants is for _Storm Shadow_ to blink. It would be fairer, too.

"Go ahead, Jaye."

"Maybe you could sort of smash their heads together? I mean, I'm not saying you'd actually be able to knock some sense into them, but ... "

 

Roadblock does not end up smashing any heads together, which is probably just as well. He does give Flint a stern talking to about how the Joes are supposed to be better than Storm Shadow. It's not entirely clear to Flint how he should take that statement - it's not like he didn't know that already.

"Flint."

The only other ninja around who actually talks. "Hey." She's probably heard about the staring contest.

"I was told you and Storm Shadow had a little run-in earlier."

Flint figures that what's annoying to him is probably ten times as worse for Jinx and Snake Eyes, debt or no. "It was nothing. I mean, I don't like him, he doesn't like me. No surprises there, right?"

Jinx smiles. "Not really, no. It is hard to imagine him and Snake as close friends, isn't it? Yet they were, once. Until Storm Shadow was accused of killing the Hard Master. Falsely, as it turned out. Still. Snake feels he should have shown more support at the time, searched harder for the truth."

Flint thinks of Roadblock saying _there's only one person out there I trust completely_ , referring to the guy who was supposedly responsible for assassinating the Pakistani president. His second best friend, after Duke. One of the few survivors of the massacre, because he wasn't there.

"And that's why Storm Shadow feels the two of you owe him?" Flint decides he'd rather not have heard this. He doesn't want to _understand_ Storm Shadow. He just wants him gone.

"Yes," Jinx says. "I disagree." Her tone adds _obviously_. "It has been too long. Too much blood has been spilled, since. Storm Shadow has chosen his path; it can no longer be changed. He is a lost cause."

She's not saying anything Flint hasn't thought for himself. "Yeah."

 

A black ninja and a white one, both moving so fluidly they might be dancing instead of fighting.

Flint's no slouch in hand-to-hand himself, but he's definitely not a ninja. He doesn't move like _that_ , which is fine, really; nearly half of the Joes are ninja already.

"So, did the two of you kiss and make up?" Jaye asks. Her search has come up empty, meaning that Storm Shadow has, apparently, behaved these past three months.

"We haven't killed each other," Flint says. "Does that count?"

"Only if you've been in the same room together for more than five minutes and actually talked." Jaye grins. If Flint didn't know better, he'd think she's begun to sort of be okay with Storm Shadow being here. "And asking him to pass the potatoes at dinner doesn't count."

"He's just so ... " _Annoying. Arrogant. Confident. Skilled._

"Hey, you did trick him into a staring contest," Jaye points out. "So, you know, deep down inside, I guess he's just another guy. Maybe you should invite him to go and do some guy stuff."

"I agree." Roadblock. The man might as well be a ninja, given his tendency to pop up whenever you're _not_ expecting him. "And it so happens I know just the thing."

 

"You're an idiot."

Flint wishes he could disagree. Loudly. "Hey. You could have said 'no', too, you know."

Storm Shadow glares at him. Flint tells himself that a glare that has failed to impress a pair of young girls with a fondness of glitter is clearly not very impressive. It doesn't work.

"Look, you're a ninja. Can't you just ... do that thing you do and go ninja on that karaoke machine?"

"On second thought, I may have been overstating your intelligence earlier."

"Well, at least I brought ear plugs." Admittedly, only because Roadblock told him to do so.

"Yes, you did." Storm Shadow smirks. Storm Shadow is not supposed to smirk at being told that only one of them will be fully exposed to the sound of two girls singing to some unknown and very foolish assailant slash would-be boyfriend to 'hit me, baby, one more time'. "Thank you for those."

 

Roadblock is not happy. Flint would like to state for the record that what happened was not his fault, but he feels that talking might not be a good idea right now.

"You have," Roadblock says at last, "two choices. One, you're dead. Two, you're gay. Your choice."

"Gay?" Flint doesn't want to ask. "Why - "

"The baby sitter does not fight," Roadblock snaps. "The baby sitter is a responsible, mature adult who treats other people with respect."

"He stole my ear plugs!" Flint doesn't think that shows a whole lot of respect.

"I don't care."

"We are deeply in love," Storm Shadow says. "Our passion temporarily overwhelmed us, causing us to act without thought. Please convey our sincerest apologies to your delightful children."

Roadblock arches an eyebrow. Flint isn't sure who he wants to shoot first. "Well? Flint?"

"Uh. What he said." Roadblock's kids did not strike Flint as anywhere near 'delightful', but he supposes that this is what it means to be an evil ninja: occasionally, you tell big, fat lies.

"Good." Roadblock looks pleased. Flint bitterly thinks he's definitely the only one feeling that way.

 

Jaye thinks the whole thing is hilarious. _Of course,_ Jaye thinks the whole thing is hilarious.

"I mean, you'll probably want to get Snake's blessing first, but hey."

Until now, it has not occurred to Flint that Storm Shadow may, in fact, be gay. "What does - oh." It has also never occurred to him that Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes may have been 'more than friends', as they say. On the other hand, "Wait. Weren't they, like, ten or so at the time?"

"So?" Jaye shrugs. "Love isn't all about sex. Love is about love."

Flint feels love should also be about _not_ annoying the hell out of someone simply by smirking or even looking at them. He doesn't even want to _think_ about sex - other than to acknowledge that, sure, Storm Shadow's kind of hot, in a well-but-not-overdone muscled and fit sort of way.

Probably can't kiss worth a damn, though. "Um. Yeah. Absolutely."

"You should ask him out on a date."

"He's - " _a killer_. It's one thing to work with him for a common goal. It's one thing to _not_ want to see him in some weird torture room slash prison.

It's another thing entirely to imagine having dinner together and holding hands while watching a movie and then going out the next morning and kicking some ass that needs kicking in order to make the world a better place. "He's not really my type."

"Liar." Not Jaye, of course. He's never that lucky.

"No, seriously," Flint says. "Ruthless killers who work for Cobra and have killed my friends and steal my ear plugs when I really need them are not my type. Sorry."

Jaye flinches, a little. Storm Shadow does not.

"That ear plug thing really bothered you, huh?"

"Yeah." Flint is not going to get into a staring contest again; he's learned his lesson there. "I'd say you definitely owe me for that. I brought those in good faith."

"You didn't bring any for me. I say that makes us even. No debts."

"Fine. You can buy me dinner. No sushi, though."

"We're in America. Where would I find decent sushi?"

 

"They're kind of cute together, don't you think? My two baby girls certainly seemed to think so, at least. I see a lot more free evenings in my near future."

Jinx scowled. "We cannot trust him."

"Oh, I ain't trusting _him_. I'm trusting Flint. And I figure that if anything rotten's going on, he'll tell us and we'll deal with it." Roadblock shrugged. "Until that happens, I figure we just got ourselves an extra ninja. I may not like the guy much, but I sure can use him. What do you think, Snake?"

Snake Eyes cocked his head slightly to the left.

"Yeah. That's what I figured."


End file.
